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Your first answer might simply be “Good, of course.” But let’s look a little more closely. Do we actually stop and let ourselves feel the emotions associated with the accomplishment? Or do we just shift our attention to the next goal/issue/problem and keep plugging away? “Good” is vague; do we pay attention to how it really feels and welcome the emotions (which might include everything from overwhelming-tearful-joy to a simple-sense-of-contentment to pride to anxiety)? Do we dampen the joy, pride, and gratitude with judgments like “I didn’t work hard enough” or “It might not last” or “I was silly to want that in the first place”? Are you feeling “good” today? Consider that in this very moment you are surrounded by the things that you’ve wanted that you’ve gotten. Your family, your career, your new iPhone, a reconnection with an old friend at a deeper level, etc. Yes, there might [...]

In Tiara this month, we have been focused as a community on what it means to be deeply accepting of ourselves, others, and life circumstances. This form of acceptance that we practice in the Tiara coaching groups has its roots in Buddhist teachings. It emphasizes cultivating the willingness to be present with the inevitable pain and challenges that occur in a human life without demanding that they not occur. It is not about passively accepting things, giving up or not taking action to influence our lives. It is an active form of acceptance where we make room for our own reactions to what happens in life (negative thoughts, judgments, emotions, impulses, etc.). We actually witness the thoughts and feelings we have and make room for them to exist without treating them as true or false. We allow them to just be something we happen to be experiencing. For example, if [...]

This month, one of our Tiara practices is to recognize and capture when we are feeling moved.  The weekend I began the exercise happened to coincide with my in-laws 60th wedding anniversary.  Throughout the weekend festivities we had plenty of time to feel and be moved.  And as the month has progressed, I found countless other experiences that moved me:  a beautiful sunset . . . a lovely bike ride along the lake. . .  watching the waves roll in while on a conference call from the beach . . . helping my niece find a job and experiencing her gratitude. . .  a young woman I mentor identified an opportunity for her own growth and powerfully stepped into a new situation.  Without looking to hard, clearly there have been many opportunities to feel and be moved. However, at the very same time I was recognizing these positive things I [...]

I think it’s easy to be cynical and think that it’s not possible to be completely satisfied in all areas of our lives at the same time. It’s easy to think: “If things are going well in my work, then there are going to be negative impacts in my personal life.” and “I don’t have time to be proactive and fully on top of everything at work, at home, with my friends, in my neighborhood, etc.” I recently was dissatisfied with what was going on in a few areas of my life: I was getting sick too often and was very conscious of not getting enough sleep, I wanted to spend more time marketing and selling to get more business, I was looking to introduce regular cardio exercise into my life and wasn’t sure how to fit it in, and I didn’t want to spend any less time with my [...]