Blog
Being Gracious
by Elizabeth Ruske
April 15, 2010
Every quarter I sit down and review my annual intentions and goals for the year. Last week, in doing my 2010 ‘check-in’ I took a look at my values and realized that I wasn’t really paying attention to one of them; being gracious/graciousness.
I recently did a favor for someone and it was fun and something I was totally inspired to do (I played match-maker for a friend). The guy I fixed my friend up with was so appreciative and he wanted to find a way to express that gratitude so he took my husband and I out to dinner. At first when he offered, I was like, “that is so not necessary”. But then I realized that I was not being gracious; I was actually not willing to receive this man’s thanks in a way that felt great to him.
Being gracious isn’t just doing this for others. Being gracious means allowing others to contribute to you as well. And that can take many forms. In our monthly teleclass in April, we are talking about the “Art of Seduction”. I think being gracious in all directions (to yourself, to others, from others) is really seductive. Allowing others to contribute to you is a wonderful gift – for you and for them.
Where can you amp up your levels of graciousness in your world? Who do you need to let in and allow them to contribute to you in some way? What difference would it make for you – and for them if you did?
I relate to this most strongly in terms of asking for and allowing others to help. It applies even in the little moments. For example, I’m carrying a ton of things and someone offers to help. My instinct says, ‘No, I can get it.’ And of course I CAN. But why? Is there something to prove here? No. So I accept, graciously, and then I share my gratitude. And voila, we are more connected, this stranger and I – if only for that moment. And for me, connection is one of my top values. Beautiful!