Blog
I let it throw me into a tailspin
by Amy Riley
June 3, 2010
I agreed to design and develop 2 self-study training courses last month. And that agreement threw me into a tail spin! After digging into the training project – and given other commitments I have – I found that the timelines were tight. There was a lot to be done, and at times I questioned whether I could get the work done on time.
Now, I handled it. I got a babysitter here and there, I took some things off my calendar, and I re-negotiated the timing on projects where I could. I was “doing” the seemingly “right” things, yet my “being” was out of whack. I had anxious energy seeping into most everything I was doing. I was jumping into superlative language in my head. I heard myself thinking, “I’m always overbooked. I’ve been behind for months. I can’t catch up on sleep. In fact, I’ve been tired ever since I became a parent!!” I let a one-and-a-half week tight spot rewrite the last three-and-a-half years of my life!
Ugh. I don’t want to think this way. I know it doesn’t serve me. I know the language inside my head affects how I feel. And, for a bit, I was feeling doomed. I was beating myself up for my supposed irresponsibility. I was really letting myself have it. I should’ve looked more closely at the due dates. I should’ve timed things out with more detail in my calendar. I should not be tired by the weekend. I was expecting so much of myself. I was acting like no one ever over-commits, like life balance is perfect 52 weeks out of the year, like no project ever takes more time than we think. I see that I was being way too hard on myself.
So, the next time I find myself up against a tight timeline (because, let’s be real, I’ll be here again) – I will not necessarily “do” anything different. Instead, I will “be” different. I will be nice to myself.
When you encounter “tight spots” in your life, how would you like to “be” different?