Blog
Where are you coming from Love or Fear?
by Elizabeth Ruske
January 19, 2012
Recently I was speaking at an event where gratefully the majority of people in the room were highly engaged, but there was a small group that was fairly disruptive. It made it more difficult, not only for me, but for all of the other people attending. Over the years, I have spoken to thousands of people in hundreds of venues, and I’m pleased to say I am not accustom to feeling heckled when I am leading groups of people. However, that also meant that I didn’t have a lot of experience dealing with the hecklers.
During the evening, there was a moment when I made a choice to engage with them without giving in to them. To allow myself to be present to it and to also come from a place of disappointment but not from anger. What I realized was that I was speaking to a room full of people and the majority of them were delighted I was there and were eager and open to the conversation we were having. I was and am very grateful that I had the presence of mind to focus on those people who were engaged. If I gave into my anger and annoyance, I could have easily turned the evening into a disappointment for everyone in the room. That’s the moment I realized I wanted to come from love and not from fear.
When I first realized what was going on it felt a little scary. I started to think; this won’t be successful, our brand is being tarnished, I have to take control of the room and figure a way out of this. Instead of giving into the fear, I reconnected with my inspiration. I love helping people choose to lead lives that inspire them! That was why I was up there in the first place and it is at the heart of everything I do. I tapped into my inspiration and the knowledge that what I do makes a difference every day and with every person with whom I interact. In that moment I made a choice to come from love and not from fear. I chose to embrace every person in the room and remember they are simply people trying to do their best.
Later that evening I realized I had received a gift. I got to experience something that most of us do not see in the moment. Being perfectly candid, sometimes I can let my anger fly freely. But that night - I didn’t give into anger (which is usually sourced from fear). That night – in the moment I experienced a “both – and” kind of awareness and it was occurring real time. It allowed me to be present to both the disappointment and also the inspiration I was bringing, and I believe that was only possible because I was coming from love. And as it turned out – the feedback from the evening was very positive and powerful. Oh, I was definitely disappointed, but even the disappointment came from a place of love.
Where are you reacting from fear in your life? How can you tap into your inspiration and into love instead of the fear? Try it and let me know what difference it makes.
Thanks for sharing this, Beth. It does seem that we are always present to one or the other – love or fear. When one is present, there is no room for the other. “Perfect love casts out all fear”.
It’s a profound gift to be aware of what’s present – love or fear. Whichever is present will shape our actions and outcomes.
Once, when I was preparing for a potentially tough meeting, a colleague asked if I was putting on my armor. I paused and said, “If I’m wearing armor, there’s no way we can really connect with each other and communicate.” We wear armor when we are present to fear; we shed it when we are present to love.
Thanks.
Thank you Beth,
I have carried your reflections along with me over the past 10 days, regularly checking in many different situations: am I coming from love, am I coming from fear? Every time I did, I felt inspired from the feeling that I was in a position to choose. Sometimes confirming: yes I am coming from love! Sometimes finetuning: mmmm, ok, more fear than love, so let me choose to shift that. What a gift!!thank you for that awareness!
Beth- you assessed and chose your reaction beautifully in that situation.
I’m reading Gabby Bernstein’s book Spirit Junkie and am getting better at recognizing when I’m coming from fear (ego-based thoughts) or love (inner guide-inspired thoughts). Getting better at recognizing the source will help me better react and switch to coming from love. It sounds like you’re well on your way, which is something I’m working toward.
Cheers to love!