(My Dad is actually stable now and has been moved to a rehabilitation center. He’s got some significant therapy ahead of him, and he is ready and willing to do the work.)

Why am I telling you that we thought my Dad might die last week? Because it reminded me – on a number of levels – about how precious each moment in our lives is. I feel the sense of urgency in my family right now. We are certainly making every moment with Dad count. We’ve renewed our perspective on what’s important and what is small stuff. It’s too bad we sometimes need a shake-up like this to remember.

Also, I wondered last week how to respond when people asked me, “How are you?” How are things going?” Well… there was this HUGE thing going on with my Dad! Yet, I also knew – through our important conversations last week – that my Dad was at peace and was not worried about his future, however it played out. So, in many ways I was “well.” I felt blessed.

So…I was asking myself: “Can I say I’m doing well when my Dad might be dying?” I decided I could. My Dad would want me to. I can feel sadness that my Dad may not be with us physically in the near future AND still enjoy the moments of my life.

As humans, we can often live life just waiting for something to be over. We can have thoughts like: “Life will be better when…” “I just have to get through this then…” I know I find myself falling into these trains of thoughts sometimes.

Yet…the time to enjoy the moments of our lives is RIGHT NOW.

During the evening, there was a moment when I made a choice to engage with them without giving in to them.  To allow myself to be present to it and to also come from a place of disappointment but not from anger.  What I realized was that I was speaking to a room full of people and the majority of them were delighted I was there and were eager and open to the conversation we were having.  I was and am very grateful that I had the presence of mind to focus on those people who were engaged.  If I gave into my anger and annoyance, I could have easily turned the evening into a disappointment for everyone in the room.   That’s the moment I realized I wanted to come from love and not from fear.

When I first realized what was going on it felt a little scary.  I started to think; this won’t be successful, our brand is being tarnished, I have to take control of the room and figure a way out of this.  Instead of giving into the fear, I reconnected with my inspiration.  I love helping people choose to lead lives that inspire them!  That was why I was up there in the first place and it is at the heart of everything I do.  I tapped into my inspiration and the knowledge that what I do makes a difference every day and with every person with whom I interact.  In that moment I made a choice to come from love and not from fear.  I chose to embrace every person in the room and remember they are simply people trying to do their best.

Later that evening I realized I had received a gift. I got to experience something that most of us do not see in the moment.  Being perfectly candid, sometimes I can let my anger fly freely. But that night  - I didn’t give into anger (which is usually sourced from fear).  That night – in the moment I experienced a “both – and” kind of awareness  and it was occurring real time.  It allowed me to be present to both the disappointment and also the inspiration I was bringing, and I believe that was only possible because I was coming from love.   And as it turned out – the feedback from the evening was very positive and powerful. Oh, I was definitely disappointed, but even the disappointment came from a place of love.

Where are you reacting from fear in your life?  How can you tap into your inspiration and into love instead of the fear?  Try it and let me know what difference it makes.

You see, in true leadership, you have to be you.  You cannot be authentic if you are trying to be someone else.  Assuming this is accurate, then how do you find out what your true leadership looks like?  In Tiara, we think true leadership is powered by inspiration not emulation.  At the source of our model is answers to questions like:

-          What inspires you to be the leader in your life?

-          What are the things that make you go the extra mile?

-          What are the items and elements that you care deeply about and want to create and protect them?

-          What makes you TICK?

When you start to answer these questions deeply and truly, you start to see what your true leadership is all about.  So, of course,  I asked myself these questions, and I became aware that I love seeing possibilities for myself and others in a way that excites and ignites action.  What I came to realize is that my leadership changes people’s lives.  And that, is the source of my inspiration.

Once you have clarity about the source of your inspiration – THEN – you can begin to explore how you can hone it and own it.  In Tiara’s True Leadership Model, your inspiration is at the center of the model . . .  and the three core components that build upon that center are Awareness (knowing yourself), Results (leading others), and Influence (creating leverage).

So, what is your source of inspiration and what do you stand for as a leader in your own life?  Start 2012 by asking yourself these questions and build upon your True Leadership in 2012.  Join us on Tuesday, January 17th, 2012 at from 1:30 – 2:15 PM (Central US) for this FREE conversation and exploration.  Click here to register  http://tiaracoaching.com/events/global-events/january-17-true-leadership-teleconnect/

Even though it was a dream, the feelings were very real. These were feelings of loneliness, guilt, unworthiness and shame, all uncomfortable feelings of separation. And that at a time of the year around Christmas, when we are supposed to be celebrating oneness, peace, community!

What could possibly be the meaning of this dream and these feelings? Assuming that there is a meaning, of course. I pondered the thought that the feeling of separation was in myself. And if I would be able to restore that, I would feel better and I would be better company to the people around me. Well, at least for today.

The question I chose was: what is it within myself where I feel lonely, guilty, unworthy or ashamed? What  parts can I not accept about myself?

From this dream I  take it that at some level  I may not accept large amounts of money flowing to me, and also that I can’t accept illegal actions or not playing by “rules”.  Mmmmm, food for thought and further contemplations. Pretty fun game to take it this way.

I am currently adding to the list of “what can I not accept about myself”. And making it a fun game.

Any ideas on what you may not be accepting about yourself? And what you can decide to happily dismiss, at least for this moment but maybe also for 2012?

Here’s why: If we focus on the holiday spirit, then the task can seem elusive. It’s out there… it’s external to us. To focus on the holiday spirit we would need to understand and agree with some universal essence of the holidays. It’s outside of ourselves, somewhere out there. It makes it hard to know what it is, how to get it… and we end up just knowing that we don’t have it… whatever it is.

When you focus on your holiday spirit, now it’s personal. You get to define it, you get say what it is.. and reclaiming your holiday spirit is within reach. Although it can be revealing and take courage, it’s the way to experience the holidays in the manner that’s most important to you.

Given that context, we asked the TeleConnect participants to follow the 5 simple steps to reclaiming your holiday spirit. Here is what I realized for myself as we explored the steps.

1. Assume you have a holiday spirit. It can be easy for me to think that I’m a bit of a scrooge because there are some aspects of the season that I don’t get into (like taking pictures with Santa, getting out the good china, and decorating the house). Yet, if I think for just a moment, there are other aspects of the holidays that I love and appreciate. I love how people reach out to help and support others during the holidays. I get delighted when someone takes the time and attention to get someone else a gift they know the receiver will love. I appreciate the events that bring me together with my loved ones…especially when I slow down and make sure I’m “present” with my friends and family and feeling truly ”connected.”

2. Name your holiday spirit. When I clearly identify the aspects of the holiday that I find inspiring, then it’s fun and easy to name my holiday spirit. Mine is named “Giving presence” speaking to the delight I feel when someone gives a gift that is perfectly suited for the recipient and to my desire to be “present” and tuned into the people in my life.

3. Act like your holiday spirit. If I was acting like my holiday spirit, Giving Presence, then I’d have some fun hitting the specialty shops in my neighborhood to see if I can find some perfect treasures. I’d make sure there was enough “space” in my calendar to ensure I wasn’t rushing from here to there and could relax and enjoy and be present at the events where I choose to show up. I’d involve my family in buying gifts for a family in need.

4. Witness your holiday spirit in action. Since the TeleConnect, I’ve noticed and appreciated the Salvation Army bell ringers and the “extra” solicitations we get for help during the holidays. These are all from people committed to brightening someone else’s life. How great is that? I’ve also gotten just a little bit more excited as the gifts I’ve ordered for others arrive. And, I see how those around me are getting into the season in their own ways, and I’m enjoying the idea that there’s no “right” way.

5. Be generous and forgiving. Someone on the TeleConnect call shared that a way she could “be generous and forgiving” would be to assume that people are coming from the best of intentions. This is brilliant. I know people are doing the best they can. I know I’m doing the best I can. This is a perspective I want to hold onto as well!

What can you do to reclaim your holiday spirit?