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If It’s Perfect For Me – It’s Perfect for Everyone
by Betsy Sobiech
May 20, 2009
In our inspired actions tele-series we are in a great inquiry about giving ourselves permission to feel good in spite of any circumstances. That has brought up a lot of questions for me; like, how do I feel good when there is real sadness in my life? And what do I do when people in my life are not happy and want to take me down with them?
Both of these questions are quite real for me. My nephew was killed in the war and our family felt the crippling grief that comes with losing a loved one unexpectedly. Well, over these past few years as I moved through the typical stages of grief it became apparent to me that I felt ‘guilty’ about being happy around my brother and sister-in-law. That guilt probably kept me feeling sad even longer because I simply was not willing to tell myself that it is OK to feel good. It felt like a betrayal to be happy. And yet, the times that made us feel better about Sean’s death were the times when we were talking about what a great kid he was and telling funny stories about him and our family. It was through feeling good that we actually were able to heal. And, while we will never get “over Sean’s death”, it is possible for us all to get use to him being gone. And to do so requires that I give up the guilt of having two healthy sons, and wanting to feel happy again.
Where in your life are you letting things, events, other people, or your own thoughts and feelings stop you from saying, ‘it is OK to feel good’?